Stop Messaging, Start Communicating


The communication challenge

If you are in a leadership role, I would suggest strongly that your task is to fight tooth and nail against the achievement of this end-game. And in common with all leadership challenges, you need to start by challenging your own conduct.

Of course you cannot be expected to deliver personally all the communications content you need put across. And yes, messaging tools and platforms can be enormously helpful and have a place in the communications mix.

However, if you choose not to engage with people to deliver meaningful communication, in favour of using impersonal and technology-based alternatives, you need to ask yourself some serious questions.

What exactly are your motives?

  • It is a better use of my precious time. So, you might save time by using email or messaging. But what price are you prepared to pay in terms of the effectiveness of the communication? You might have delegated this key communication to a direct report, or to a change manager, or to an internal communication manager. Do I really need to spell out why that’s not actually a good thing?
  • It avoids having to deal with a lot of questions. It might save you from having to answer some difficult questions and from being ‘put on the spot’. But does this suggest that you are not completely convinced by your own arguments? And isn’t this really opting out? The whole point of communication is to convey meaning, receive feedback and confirm understanding.

In truth, like the teens in the survey, if you choose technology because it allows you to broadcast without having to engage or interact with people, then consider this:

‘Engagement’ has become a holy grail for marketers using digital channels. When trying to measure the effectiveness of digital channels (including the rapidly increasing exploitation of social media) the best practice advice is now to stop counting ‘hits’ and to start looking at what actions people actually take once they’ve visited your site, or read your tweet… or, yes, viewed your blog.

Positive actions (e.g. retweeting, rating a blog, recommending a product etc.) are seen as signs of engagement. But this is the language of consumer marketing.

Organisational leadership requires a much more substantial type of engagement, one that is not so easily delivered. The willingness and energy required to pull an organisation out of a performance nose-dive, or to drive through an all-important new product development, or a critical restructure, will never be delivered by an ethereal sphere of ‘followers’ who ‘like this’ or who chose to ‘share’ your ‘content’.

Flesh and blood, intellect and emotion are required in the right measure to achieve these things. Leadership’s task is to mobilise and channel them. This task cannot be accomplished without all that messy, unpredictable, challenging – but ultimately rewarding – interaction with people.

Electronic and digital platforms give us many ways to avoid this interaction, whilst seeming still to ‘communicate’. We know in our hearts that this is a cop out.

We continue to abuse it at our peril.

6 thoughts on “Stop Messaging, Start Communicating

  1. I heartily agree with the argument in this post, having also experienced a number of bosses who used the few then available mechanisms (pre-email and, thankfully, text) to avoid ‘difficult’ conversations, announcements and interactions; this always caused bad feeling and resentment and undermined respect and loyalty both to them and the organisation. The medium of communication is as important as the detailed content, the prime example being ‘body language’ in face-to-face interaction. If a person has the courage and honesty to deliver a message directly, in person, and persevere (or endure) through the associated anxiety and real or perceived physical risk, they show themselves to be Human and at least bothered enough to make the effort to face the audience and see it through; they earn a degree of respect, probably quite a lot in most cases. By contrast, the less the effort and risk required by the medium, the less relationship investment is perceived by the receiver, probably to the detriment of the relationship.
    I was brought up and educated in an environment in which you were expected to write important letters by hand, in ink, neatly and on good paper (or at least to salute and sign in ink manuscript), and this was echoed by my basic officer training in the Royal Navy in the mid-1980s; I believe some of this formality remains even now. This was explicitly to show the recipient that you appreciated the importance of the interaction and that you were willing to go to some trouble to communicate with them, similarly to dressing tidily for an actual meeting. I still feel very complemented by friends who actually take the trouble to write me a letter, rather than the usual text or email.
    It’s a while since I’ve seen the old florist’s slogan: “say it with flowers”. I think it’s unlikely that Interflora will ever replace this with “say it with %>” [txt flowers], though I have met a couple of blokes who thought that would do instead for their girlfriends… those relationships didn’t last !

  2. … I’ve just recalled a conversation I overheard between two young lads at college today, discussing having arguments and arranging to have a fight with somebody – via Facebook!
    My concern about this is whether they’re likely to wind the situation up into a much more serious one than if they’d sorted the argument, and perhaps the actual fight, earlier, facing up to each other rather than upping the ante online first… if it’s a trend, worrying.
    Would ‘leaders’ used to this way of doing things be more likely to go to war?

  3. Thank you, Spincop, for another thought provoking essay. I agree with and recognise many of your observations. However I do disagree with your suggestion to ‘fight tooth and nail against the achievement of this end-game’ [the end-game being the almost obsessive or constant use of instant electronic communication instead of often difficult face to face communications].

    I started my career in 1990 in a department of 15 with a ‘386’ and a beast in the corner with 5.25” disks. I’ve recently finished working with a specialist team within a finance function of a major multinational company. My clients are in their late 20s and 30s. They sat in meetings keeping one eye on, or even using, mobile devices – often 2 per person. Keeping to a structured agenda was usually impossible.

    I realised I needed to adapt my way of working, and to go with the flow a bit more than I found comfortable, rather than ask for devices to be turned off. I found we were able to cover all the topics and decide on the necessary actions. It really hit home when I came to document the meetings – I usually ended up following the structure set out in the agenda and not the stream of consciousness I had scribbled on my own mobile device, a paper pad.

    So why do I disagree with the suggestion to fight? Frankly because I think the battle is over. We may not like it, but we have to live with it.

    I was pleased to find with my finance team it was still possible to have conversations about the messages they wanted or needed to convey. And also about getting them to consider what communication channel they preferred and what the person they were intending to communicate with might prefer. This was where the option of a difficult face to face conversation could be suggested and even role played.

    For me, this has made me think again about the challenges of attempting to cause of influence culture change… rather than what I think are symptomatic behaviours within that culture.

  4. I think this is basically human nature – it is simply that electronic communication has provided an easy way out for people. I have rarely ever shirked away from telling people what I think (other than perhaps with some members of my family) and I generally prefer to do that face to face. But my sense is that most people like to avoid confrontation and there is an expectation that ‘difficult conversations’ will lead to that, when in fact, quite often they can improve the climate within an organisation or team. From what I have observed, it gets worse the higher you get in an organisation…….it seems to me that very few senior managers are able/or willing to create the time or the setting to have really good quality conversations with their direct reports. Having said that there is nothing wrong with a text or e-mail – it is all about the most appropriate form of communication for the message you are trying to convey at that time. I believe that people like to know where they stand so regular feedback and dialogue is very important. One observation I would make is that it is harder to talk to people these days – diaries seem to be clogged up with back to back meetings or teleconference calls – so the benefit of writing an e-mail is that you get it off your ‘to-do’ list.

    I am sure there are benefits to be had from investing in conversations – if you could quantify it and demonstrate the impact on an organisation then you might start to change behaviour.

  5. Interesting stuff Stopcop – On the one hand you can’t beat either looking someone in the eye for a conversation, or failing that, speaking to them directly. Somehow electronic communication has become so easy – it it the lazy persons preferred method of communication?
    On the other hand, here we all are, using social media to communicate – how hypocritical are we all?
    I guess the real answer is that there is room for both, and used appropriately, they can both be useful, but not good if used in the wrong situation.
    (By the way – I know and like Darren Waters and would validate his claims about his communication style )

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